At some point, most parents would hear these dreaded three little words: I hate you. It’s not okay when you hear it from other people, and it even gets more magnified when you hear it from your child.

As much as it would hurt your feelings, don’t take it personally. Kids aren’t wishy-washy with their feeling and can only feel one emotion at a time. When things are great, she’s happy and loves everybody around her.

When things are not going the way she expects them to, she hates everything – the world, her friends and even you.

There are a number of correct ways on how to respond to your child when she says “I hate you”, but first, let me tell you how not to respond to it. Don’t say “Well, I love you” as this only shames your child. Also, don’t correct her feelings by saying “There’s no need to be upset” or “You know you don’t mean that” as these would not help in any way.

The best way to handle this kind of situation is by helping your child express her feelings. Think of it as a charade – she acts out how she feels and you help her express it. Help her put a name to how she feels without mocking her. When her body language says she’s angry, say “I can tell from the way you’re acting that you’re angry. You seem frustrated that you can’t get that doll to sit up by herself”. If your daughter says “Yes” or nods her head, follow it up with “That sure is very upsetting”

Next, teach her how to voice her anger in an appropriate way. Suggest using words such as “Mommy, I feel angry. Please help me.” Then help your child see her options such as “You can ask mommy to help you with the doll” or “We can put away the doll for a moment and sing some nursery rhymes”.

No matter what, it’s very important not to take your child’s “I hate you” personally. Remember that she’s just a kid and doesn’t know better yet.

To find out more about successful parenting we suggest visiting this website about three year old behavior.